There’s a certain Bally member who is often madly yanking the lever on the paper towel dispenser like a spastic gambling addict at a Las Vegas slot machine. He’ll literally unfurl 20-30 feet from the roll. Why? Well, because he doesn’t own a bath towel, and dries off after showering with the paper sheets. Guess it’s better than the other towel-free members who use the hand dryers on their entire bodies. Regardless, we’ve nicknamed this muscle-bound dude Brawny.
Enjoy your workout.
Bally Total Witness 
[…] members to line the lockers, but the Loop location has no such amenities (one can only imagine how Brawny might respond to the perk). The situation also adds a certain mystery to the puddles around the […]
[…] Workout 106 The keffiyeh has received lots of attention in the past year, as celebrities and commoners sported the scarves. Rachael Ray even sparked controversy by wearing one in a Dunkin’ Donuts advertisement, with lunatics declaring the fashion accessory has ties to terrorists. Today we saw a Bally member who created a keffiyeh out of paper towels, wrapping and knotting the sheets around her neck. Maybe she was trying to attract Brawny. […]
[…] been removed from the wall. Does its disappearance signal another cost-cutting act, or did Brawny overdo it and accidentally rip the device from its mountings? Members will likely compensate by […]
[…] Hike prices for Bally Soy Protein Bars®? Security guard layoffs? Completely eliminate free paper towels? Ration toilet paper to five sheets per […]