Workout 90

March 31, 2009

Some senior citizens at Bally display tattoos on various parts of their creaky bodies. The styles and designs tend to give away their age – especially with the men. You’ll see a lot of patriotic shit like flags and military insignias. Or it’ll be old school porn with bikini-clad or totally naked women. Then there are the occasional Asian symbols, usually on long-haired grandpas who probably still smoke weed and are into Kundalini Yoga and Viagra-enhanced Tantric Sex.

Enjoy your workout.


Workout 89

March 30, 2009

Bally is introducing Total Pilates. The self-hype reads:

Total Pilates at Bally Total Fitness® is a comprehensive program that offers a contemporary and functional approach to the original principles of Joseph and Clara Pilates. With the combination of qualified instructors and superior equipment, Bally is the one place to satisfy all your Pilates needs.

In other words, you’ll have to pay extra loot to get involved. Which is just fine – because if the program were free, you know members would be snoozing on those fancy Pilates machines.

Enjoy your workout.


Workout 88

March 29, 2009

Some radical Bally member invited others to join the… Energy Revolution! The tiny promo flyer depicted here appeared in the locker room like political propaganda. Um, it doesn’t seem very revolutionary to be a Red Bull wannabe.

Enjoy your workout.


Workout 87

March 28, 2009

Saturday was uncommonly busy at the Bally South Loop club. Personal trainers instructed regulars and newbies. A custodial woman wiped down the staff offices like Sunshine Cleaning. A full cycling class appeared to be preparing for a charity event. The large studio was double-booked, forcing the cheerleaders to wait in the entryway for over an hour. At one point, the girls propped a table with their school’s logo and proceeded to take posed photographs, probably for the college newspaper or yearbook. Even the men’s locker room was packed, as evidenced by the foam bubbling in the urinals.

Enjoy you workout.


Workout 86

March 28, 2009

There’s yet another quote being displayed on Bally monitors:

Take rest; a field that has rested gives a bountifield crop.


OK, but do you mind not snoozing on a weight machine?

Enjoy your workout.


Workout 85

March 27, 2009

The whirlpool at the Bally Loop location has been down for the past two days. No explanation, just a homemade sign announcing the inconvenience. We peeked into the area and saw the tub drained dry. There were containers of plaster and cleaning solvents nearby, along with a lone can of Coke. Removing the rusty water stains?

Enjoy your workout.

Update: The whirlpool remained closed on Friday, although it was filled with brownish water. Which means it’s almost back to normal!


Workout 84

March 26, 2009

The Loop Bally has a mascot. Actually, it’s the costume for a mascot. The critter is a big Bally logo with eyeballs, nose and mouth. Not exactly original or even memorable. We haven’t seen anyone wearing the outfit – it just gets moved from one space to another. Or maybe it runs mascot aerobics during the weekdays.

Enjoy your workout.

MASCOT 073108 CGK 21293