Chicago Bally Workout 338

January 3, 2010

Bally online advertising has always been contrived and annoying. The newest campaign continues the tradition. What’s up with the “Fresh New Bally” claim – did they decide to clean up the locker rooms? Or maybe they simply restocked the Bally Soy Protein Bars.

Enjoy your workout.


Chicago Bally Workout 324

November 15, 2009

The time has come to say farewell. We have opted to end our tour of duty at Bally. Not surprisingly, email offers begging for membership renewal are already arriving regularly – seeking to entice with reduced rates. Why do services wait until customers leave before offering extra special prices?

Thanks to everyone who has visited in the past months. Plus, thanks to all the Bally members and staffers who provided content ideas.

Enjoy your workout.


Chicago Bally Workout 322

November 13, 2009

The other day, we spotted a Bally member using a hand dryer to dry his feet. It wasn’t clear why he thought his towel wouldn’t suffice. At least he wasn’t using the higher dryers designed for drying hair.

Enjoy your workout.


Chicago Bally Workout 320

November 11, 2009

Bally is giving away free tickets to the circus. Ironically, there are far more circus-like activities taking place at Bally. Additionally, the circus elephant stables are aromatherapy compared to the Bally locker room stink.

Enjoy your workout.


Chicago Bally Workout 319

November 10, 2009

Walking past the new LA Fitness on Sundays and evenings, we can’t help but notice the place does not appear to be packed. The economy has certainly affected consumer decisions, with people avoiding premium products and services. Instead, brands like McDonald’s and Wal-Mart enjoy record profits. Bally, on the other hand, is a low-price option that makes regular visits to bankruptcy court. Which perhaps indicates that cheapness doesn’t negate indifferent staffers, crumbling facilities and locker rooms that are filthy on a host of levels.

Enjoy your workout.


Chicago Bally Workout 318

November 9, 2009

Last June, we recognized a Bally Employee of the Month. It’s been a while since that post, but we spotted another worthy honoree. At the South Loop Bally club, there’s a personal trainer who appears to consistently treat clients with personable professionalism. As most personal trainers don’t display nametags – and this dude doesn’t even regularly wear the official staff shirts – we can’t identify him. He’s got a stocky athletic build and sports braids. Anyway, what did this guy do to deserve special recognition? The other day, he was in the locker room mopping the floor near the toilet stalls and shower area. This guy is not only committed – he’s courageous too.

Enjoy your workout.


Chicago Bally Workout 312

November 3, 2009

Bally should consider signs for the men’s locker room that read:

Erection Etiquette

Please note it is impolite – and probably illegal – to proudly parade around the locker room with a full erection. Given there are no private stations with plastic curtains, it is definitely illegal to masturbate in the showers. Seek medical attention or a personal trainer for erections lasting over 4 hours.

Enjoy your jerk-off workout.