Chicago Bally Workout 338

January 3, 2010


Bally online advertising has always been contrived and annoying. The newest campaign continues the tradition. What’s up with the “Fresh New Bally” claim – did they decide to clean up the locker rooms? Or maybe they simply restocked the Bally Soy Protein Bars.

Enjoy your workout.


Chicago Bally Workout 287

October 10, 2009

manager-sign
Hey, the manager sign at the Loop Bally club is suddenly displaying an actual name. We wonder if anyone has actually requested to speak with him. Also, why doesn’t he offer Manager’s Specials on supplements in the Bally store?

Enjoy your workout.

cheese


Chicago Bally Workout 274

September 27, 2009

passions
There’s a new advertiser in the men’s locker room at the South Loop Bally. According to the website, Passion’s Cuisine offers culinary excursions at various dining establishments, as well as cooking instruction. Let’s hope dessert is not Bally Soy Protein Bars.

Enjoy your workout.

bar


Chicago Bally Workout 269

September 22, 2009

monday-madness
The Loop Bally club invited members to enjoy 30% off boxes of bars and cases of drinks for one day only during the Monday Madness Sale. On Tuesday, everyone can go back to realizing they were insane for joining Bally.

Enjoy your workout.

StraitJacket


Workout 147

May 23, 2009

candy-wrapper
Why are there candy wrappers on the floor at Bally? You can’t purchase such items in the club store. Perhaps members simply prefer Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups over Bally Soy Protein Bars.

Enjoy your workout.

chocolate-bar


Workout 141

May 18, 2009

recession
USA TODAY reported on the stuff that’s selling well during the economic collapse. Bally Soy Protein Bars® didn’t make the list, despite a jump in chocolate sales. Nonetheless, Bally has been offering the items at 50% off, propping them on the reception desks at both Chicago clubs. Hey, Bally can’t give the shit away.

Enjoy your workout.

kid-selling-candy-bars


Workout 64

March 4, 2009

bally_bar
Bally Soy Protein Bars® were introduced in 2002. At that time, the company CEO proclaimed:

“With the addition of the soy protein line, we’re cementing our position as an important player in nutritional supplements. As the leader in fitness and nutrition, we’re constantly looking to offer healthier snack and meal replacement choices that cater to our consumers’ ever-growing fitness and nutritional needs. And, it is our every intention to enhance this segment of the business as we strengthen the overall position of the Bally Total Fitness® brand in all aspects of health and fitness. Everywhere that Bally Soy Protein Bars have been available, people have told us they’re absolutely delicious and unlike anything they’ve tasted before. And, we look forward to having the rest of the country decide for themselves.”

To decide for ourselves, we bought a bar today (retail value $1.69 + tax). It was the Chocolate Peanut Butter Crunch Flavored, the last word being a legal add-on to clarify that the product likely contains no real chocolate, peanut butter or crunch. Anyway, the CEO was right—the bar is unlike anything we’ve tasted before. But only because we’ve never actually tasted shit.

Enjoy your workout.

funny-shit