Workout 64

bally_bar
Bally Soy Protein Bars® were introduced in 2002. At that time, the company CEO proclaimed:

“With the addition of the soy protein line, we’re cementing our position as an important player in nutritional supplements. As the leader in fitness and nutrition, we’re constantly looking to offer healthier snack and meal replacement choices that cater to our consumers’ ever-growing fitness and nutritional needs. And, it is our every intention to enhance this segment of the business as we strengthen the overall position of the Bally Total Fitness® brand in all aspects of health and fitness. Everywhere that Bally Soy Protein Bars have been available, people have told us they’re absolutely delicious and unlike anything they’ve tasted before. And, we look forward to having the rest of the country decide for themselves.”

To decide for ourselves, we bought a bar today (retail value $1.69 + tax). It was the Chocolate Peanut Butter Crunch Flavored, the last word being a legal add-on to clarify that the product likely contains no real chocolate, peanut butter or crunch. Anyway, the CEO was right—the bar is unlike anything we’ve tasted before. But only because we’ve never actually tasted shit.

Enjoy your workout.

funny-shit

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6 Responses to Workout 64

  1. […] if you need to buy something, you’ll have to do it before 8:00pm. As if the late purchase of a Bally Soy Protein Bar® will throw off the entire totaling […]

  2. […] for members on a month-to-month plan. Guess the receptionists are too busy selling supplements and Bally Soy Protein Bars® to handle people paying their membership fees at the club cash […]

  3. […] USA TODAY reported on the stuff that’s selling well during the economic collapse. Bally Soy Protein Bars® didn’t make the list, despite a jump in chocolate sales. Nonetheless, Bally has been offering the […]

  4. […] Workout 147 Why are there candy wrappers on the floor at Bally? You can’t purchase such items in the club store. Perhaps members simply prefer Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups over Bally Soy Protein Bars. […]

  5. […] wonder how Bally hopes to cut its debt by $660 million. Hike prices for Bally Soy Protein Bars®? Security guard layoffs? Completely eliminate free paper towels? Ration toilet paper to five sheets […]

  6. […] Chicago Bally Workout 175 There’s a personal trainer at the South Loop Bally club who appears to be a relative newbie, and he’s very different than the rest. For starters, the guy actually wears his nameplate – his name is Greg. He’s got a military-style crew cut. He always seems very engaged with clients. So what makes Greg extraordinary? He appears to actually care about the club. We’ve seen him walking the floor, literally straightening things out and resetting machines. Other personal trainers tell clients to run a few laps while they flirt with the hotties at the reception desk. When Greg’s clients are running laps, he will re-rack the weights left by lazy members or do something productive. We wouldn’t be surprised if he’d willingly scrub the toilets. This dude deserves to be the Employee of the Month. Somebody award the man a Bally Soy Protein Bar. […]

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