Workout 5

security_guard
The Chicago Loop Bally has a unique member on its staff – a security guard. Actually, the place has about four rotating sentinels. It’s probably another function of the location, as other downtown Bally clubs don’t employ guards.

The guards spend most of their time in the men’s locker room, stationed on a raggedy, rolling office chair near the lockers. It must be quite an assignment, surveying all the nakedness and assorted unpleasant visuals. Not to mention inhaling the distinct odors. To break the monotony, the guards will walk the floors of the club – although it seems like some of them only do so to watch whatever sports event is playing on the TV monitors.

You have to wonder what prompted the decision to hire security. We’ve never seen a female equivalent in the women’s locker room. Granted, we haven’t ventured into the space (hopefully, the security guard would act swiftly against any man who tried). And it’s unfathomable to imagine the lobby store is a target for shoplifters.

Were there incidents of theft or improprieties in the men’s locker room? Dangerous towel snapping or violence in the shower area? Unruly members taking offense over the failure to wipe down equipment after use?

The guards don’t appear to be armed, or even physically capable of overpowering anyone. The personal trainers would be better suited to subdue potential hooligans.

Enjoy your workout.

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11 Responses to Workout 5

  1. Ashly says:

    No…we don’t have security guards. But I find it hilarious, that yours have a office chair. How official!

  2. […] the bulletin board features headshots of the personal trainers. And the janitorial staff and security are clearly visible. So why isn’t there a big portrait of the mysterious manager? Also, how will […]

  3. […] the basement area near the locker rooms. This partly explains why the Bally Loop location has security. Or maybe the dude was using a FREE guest […]

  4. […] Bally Workout 164 As we’ve mentioned in the past, the Loop Bally club employs security guards who are primarily stationed in the men’s locker room. We’ve also remarked that it must be a […]

  5. […] but it looks like the South Loop Bally hired security for the men’s locker room. Unlike the Loop guards, this guy does not have an official chair to survey the space. He just walks around, occasionally […]

  6. […] wonder how Bally hopes to cut its debt by $660 million. Hike prices for Bally Soy Protein Bars®? Security guard layoffs? Completely eliminate free paper towels? Ration toilet paper to five sheets per […]

  7. […] Bally Workout 214 As we’ve noted in the past, the security guards patrolling the men’s locker room at the South Loop Bally club have tough jobs. The other day, we […]

  8. […] Bally Workout 217 The Loop Bally club security guards have been sitting in a rickety office chair for as long as we can remember. The chair had five […]

  9. […] help but think: 1) not many Bally members would ever consider using the service, and; 2) the security guards must be jealous to see a contemporary office […]

  10. […] toilet stalls – and if so, do their facilities exhibit the same filthiness? Also, does a special security guard patrol the employee area? We’ll bet he’s sitting on a brand new, state-of-the-art office […]

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