The Loop Bally club continued the Monday Madness Sale through Thursday. Stop the Madness!

Enjoy your workout.

We recently spotted two post office employees working out at Bally, wearing their official mailman gear. This wasn’t the first time post office employees have visited Bally and worked out in their uniforms. At least they’re not storing toiletries in their mail sacks.

Enjoy your workout.

The Loop Bally club held a Monday Madness Sale. On Tuesday. Such madness!

Enjoy your workout.

Bally should consider signs for the men’s locker room that read:

Erection Etiquette

Please note it is impolite – and probably illegal – to proudly parade around the locker room with a full erection. Given there are no private stations with plastic curtains, it is definitely illegal to masturbate in the showers. Seek medical attention or a personal trainer for erections lasting over 4 hours.

Enjoy your jerk-off workout.

Now that the Chicago weather is starting to get cooler, the South Loop Bally club has turned up the heat. In some areas, the blasting air is almost too hot. Bally might as well set up a few Weight Machines and Spinner Bikes in the steam room.

Enjoy your workout.

The other week we spotted a new poster at the South Loop Bally hyping a FREE 30-minute workout. The hand-drawn, DIY advertisement features before and after cartoon images of a muscle-bound dude. Is Bally now recruiting comic book characters?

Enjoy your workout.

Bally is celebrating Halloween with another recruitment promotion. The headline declares: Treat a friend to fitness because candy corn isn’t a vegetable. Um, you’d have to be a vegetable to go for this offer. Plus, you can search the entire selection in any Bally store and not find a single vegetable. Candy corn, maybe.

Enjoy your workout.

At the Loop Bally, there’s a life-size cardboard image of a person hyping an offer where you can win a free year-long membership. Um, is that supposed to be a motivating prize? A better incentive would have Bally paying you $29.99 per month to show up.

Enjoy your workout.

Last month, we noted the Loop Bally men’s locker room replaced a missing hand-soap dispenser with a mismatched version. Suddenly, the dispensers are identical – and Bally even added a third unit. Wow, the club must really feel the pressure of trying to compete with the superior amenities at the over-priced LA Fitness. Or maybe they’re just noticing Bally members need to do a better job of washing their hands.

Enjoy your workout.

The Loop Bally men’s locker room has a new poster hawking Calvin Klein underwear. Plus, there are cards offering a FREE PAIR of underwear with a product purchase at Macy’s. The overwhelming majority of male members could benefit from the freebie. But it’s unlikely they’ll take advantage of the deal, as they seem content to wear briefs that resemble the Shroud of Turin.

Enjoy your workout.