Chicago Bally Workout 185

A tribute to the late Michael Jackson was staged at the South Loop Bally club, as the Reaction Cycling Class pedaled to Jacko’s tunes. However, we didn’t see anyone wearing a single, white glove. Plus, Janet didn’t show up to make a tearful speech. But there were a lot of dudes grabbing their crotches. Guess their Lycra® shorts were riding up.

Enjoy your workout.

Chicago Bally Workout 184

Bally is offering Kettlebell Training at the South Loop club. Check out the professionally designed flyer above. Somebody needs some InDesign training. Anyway, members can receive 5 workouts for a whopping $249. For that amount of coin, you better receive a case of Ketel One too.

Enjoy your workout.

P.S., Here’s a 15-minute redesign of the flyer. If anyone at Bally wants the full-size version, leave a comment with an email address and we’ll send a pdf. Free of charge.

Chicago Bally Workout 183

We saw the “security” dude at the South Loop Bally club again. Although we’re still not clear about his real role. He doesn’t wear a uniform, but he patrols the men’s locker room. He doesn’t appear to be a janitor, as he’s not sporting the custodial t-shirt either. Maybe he’s some sort of elite maintenance man, on call to handle emergency situations. We’ll call him S.W.A.T. – Special Weapons and Toilets.

Enjoy your workout.

Chicago Bally Workout 182

Today we spotted a member who looked exactly like Captain Jack Sparrow – if the character had been played by Steve Buscemi versus Johnny Depp. The deepest circle of hell is reserved for betrayers and mutineers. But it’s still not as bad as the Bally men’s showers, mate.

Enjoy your workout.

Chicago Bally Workout 181

Holy shit! Today we actually witnessed someone purchasing a giant container of supplements at Bally. The buyer, however, was a personal trainer. He likely used his employee discount.

Enjoy your workout.

Chicago Bally Workout 180

The Fruit2day® distributor was back at Bally today, doling out more freebies. But this time, it looked like the brand representative was only handing out products when you exited the club. Bally probably wanted to avoid dealing with all the inevitable empty bottles. But it didn’t prevent greedy members from making off like Carmen Miranda.

Enjoy your workout.

Chicago Bally Workout 179

Bally is constantly holding special deals on supplements. The gigantic jars will be stacked on the reception desk or a nearby table, accompanied by a homemade sign hawking 50% OFF. We’ve never actually witnessed a member purchasing these items – on sale or at retail. Maybe Bally should hire Jose Canseco to make promotional appearances. The dude could use the work.

Enjoy your workout.

Chicago Bally Workout 178

Here’s a nice sentiment from Bally: Downsize with a smile. As unemployment rises to obscene levels – and Bally potentially faces layoffs and closings too – you’d think there would be a more clever way to hype promotional offers.

Enjoy your workout.

Chicago Bally Workout 177

A brand representative was handing out free samples of Fruit2day® fruit snack at Bally. It’s not bad, if you like drinking fruit cocktail. But the rep ran out of her first batch of product fast. Mostly because some people literally grabbed up to a dozen bottles. Stay classy, Bally members.

Enjoy your workout.

Chicago Bally Workout 176

Bally hopes to capitalize on Father’s Day with a special promotion that proclaims, “Surprise the ones you love with the gift of health.” The warm-and-fuzzy feeling ends the instant Daddy’s eyes are uncovered and he sees the locker room toilet stalls.

Enjoy your workout.