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It’s hard to imagine another industry in greater need of reform than the Health Club category. From the hucksterism to the contracts/non-contracts to the fees to the facilities, these places require more complete makeovers than the typical contestants on The Biggest Loser. LA Fitness continues to hype itself with the same promotions. The postcard still proclaims: PRE-SALES ARE NOW COMING TO AN END. LAST CHANCE FOR A DISCOUNTED RATE! Um, right. It’s the last chance until, say, late December, when the health clubs will proceed to con woo the New Year’s Resolution crowd. The LA Fitness postcard also asks: ALREADY HAVE A CLUB MEMBERSHIP? ASK ABOUT OUR COMPETITOR RATE? It’s unlikely that Bally members may enjoy this offer, as Bally cannot be viewed as legitimate competition – especially given the fact that LA Fitness rates are roughly double what Bally charges. Finally, LA Fitness is once again handing out 3 for 3 Sports Club Passes. Has anyone attempted to collect a year’s worth of these passes to redeem for free membership?

Enjoy your workout.

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Bally continues to send junk mail in the hopes of luring ex-members to return. However, the reduced rate deal is the same – a mere 10% off. Plus, you receive the standard hype of adding a friend or family member for more savings. Of course, they’ve thrown in a free 14-day guest pass. What’s next? Complimentary toilet paper with every visit?

Enjoy your workout.

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Oops. We posted the final entry too soon. An ominous letter appeared in the mailbox with a message that read: Your IMMEDIATE ATTENTION is required.

It turned out to be from Bally, announcing receipt of our membership cancellation request. And the note stated: However, your account remains eligible for promotional reactivation offers.

Oh boy! Guess we can expect to receive more 7-day guest passes.

Enjoy your workout.

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The time has come to say farewell. We have opted to end our tour of duty at Bally. Not surprisingly, email offers begging for membership renewal are already arriving regularly – seeking to entice with reduced rates. Why do services wait until customers leave before offering extra special prices?

Thanks to everyone who has visited in the past months. Plus, thanks to all the Bally members and staffers who provided content ideas.

Enjoy your workout.

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The Loop Bally club appears to be making a conscious effort to update the facilities. The other day, maintenance dudes were replacing a TV monitor that has been defective for many months. However, the replacement is still the only monitor that is not a flat-screen unit. Plus, it was sorta ghetto – and not very safe – for the maintenance dudes to be using weight machines as step ladders for the installation process.

Enjoy your workout.

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The other day, we spotted a Bally member using a hand dryer to dry his feet. It wasn’t clear why he thought his towel wouldn’t suffice. At least he wasn’t using the higher dryers designed for drying hair.

Enjoy your workout.

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Great. Now Bally is emailing members to hype the offer du jour. This is another notice for winning a Free Year of Membership. The catch: it’s a Bally membership. Plus, check out the benefits of signing up for a mybally.com account. Three out of four bullet points involve billing. Brilliant.

Enjoy your workout.

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Bally is giving away free tickets to the circus. Ironically, there are far more circus-like activities taking place at Bally. Additionally, the circus elephant stables are aromatherapy compared to the Bally locker room stink.

Enjoy your workout.

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Walking past the new LA Fitness on Sundays and evenings, we can’t help but notice the place does not appear to be packed. The economy has certainly affected consumer decisions, with people avoiding premium products and services. Instead, brands like McDonald’s and Wal-Mart enjoy record profits. Bally, on the other hand, is a low-price option that makes regular visits to bankruptcy court. Which perhaps indicates that cheapness doesn’t negate indifferent staffers, crumbling facilities and locker rooms that are filthy on a host of levels.

Enjoy your workout.

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Last June, we recognized a Bally Employee of the Month. It’s been a while since that post, but we spotted another worthy honoree. At the South Loop Bally club, there’s a personal trainer who appears to consistently treat clients with personable professionalism. As most personal trainers don’t display nametags – and this dude doesn’t even regularly wear the official staff shirts – we can’t identify him. He’s got a stocky athletic build and sports braids. Anyway, what did this guy do to deserve special recognition? The other day, he was in the locker room mopping the floor near the toilet stalls and shower area. This guy is not only committed – he’s courageous too.

Enjoy your workout.